[Spoilers] Ringloom — the things left behind
On April, the Distorting Mirror crew revealed their 14 minute short film Ringloom. This article is an attempt for me to better understand the film and have my interpretation of it. I don’t think this will qualify as a review as I’m not really trying to entice someone into watching it (literally giving spoilers here), and I am not great enough to write a spoiler-free overview of what I noticed, and what I was thinking during the movie. Perhaps that means the movie was coherent and flowing in its plot? So if you are interested in the film, feel free to take an above link and watch it first. We can compare notes afterwards. Again, it is 14 minutes long so it doesn’t take up much time at all.
========================================
If I wake up and find myself in an unknown place(potentially hit by an isekai prime truck, or perhaps kidnapped by people who had enough of my Cloud 9 copypasta spam in their Discord), the first thing I would do is to try and get bearings. As in, am I on Earth as I know it? Will there be any hazardous beasts nearby? What about potential food and water? Are there any other people? Is the climate hospitable or is it freezing/sweltering? Am I… am I a GIRL now (호에에엥)? I applied similar questions to Ringloom.
I immediately try to piece together what’s going on as a lady’s empathetic voice tickles my eardrums. Theoretically, my name is Halfine, I seem to be in some school (is this an art room?) with an attached greenhouse. Maybe I’m part of growing something as part of some therapeutic process. According to my theoretical mom, I’ve gone through some shit this past year, so it makes sense to me. Anyway, we cut the jibjab and get straight to what’s actually important, smack dab in the middle of the screen- you guessed it: the cool bucket. Cameras always tend to lose focus on what’s actually important. Come on man, hit me with that bucket close-up! Mmmm yeah….
So despite being like 23 or something, my eyesight never ceases to amaze me. I swore the bucket was empty/dry when I first watched it, but now on like the 3rd watch I actually notice it actually has water in it. I thought Halfine was on some pilot cadet acid when she heard the water drop like the bucket actually had water, but the truth is I’m just blind. The bucket gets another water drop, indicating that it’s put there as a pathetic solution to a leak, as Halfine/I swing around to face my potential kidnapper.
My k̶i̶d̶n̶a̶p̶p̶e̶r̶ counselor is apparently feeling like she has a flu or something and doesn’t want to spread it, so opted for a full-face cover that doesn’t even let her drink the cup of water she brought… yeah, I’m not really buying that explanation.
Immediately I tense up like the wimpy little kid I am, and when Halfine declares she’s leaving the program, I’m both relieved that we are sticking up for ourselves to get back to the real world, and terrified that the mysterious lady might suddenly screech and stab me with the cup. Thankfully though, lady is nice about it and gives me that standard ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were a great fit’, blah blah. Hey, she’s even offering an exit interview/evaluation thingy.
Anyway, the counselor lady keeps trying to butter Halfine up, trying to tell her that her performance is impressive and she has a real chance. I’m trying to GET OUT OF HERE HALFINE CAN WE JUST LEAVE SCARY MASK LADY AND GET A HOTEL FOR THE NIGHT AND ASK MOM TO PICK YOU UP AND ROLL THE CREDITS? I guess Halfine is not as scared as me, which is understandable because she probably saw counselors before. In that case though, it’s strange that this counselor is new to her even though its been a whole year. Either Halfine went up a level on this pilot program thing and was scheduled to interact with entirely new people in a whole new building, or this counselor is a new hire…? The former does make sense as Halfine (if we’re willing to believe the counselor) seems to have been quite successful at the pilot program. Perhaps this counseling session was the interview to go up to the next step. Further context reveals to us that the pilot program has something to do with enhanced human beings, like ‘becoming a brand new person’, and could have been promoted to Praena(?) status. I immediately flashback to The Titan, and I am glad that Halfine isn’t in too, too deep into this program since she seems to have all her limbs intact. I’m pretty uninvested in this pilot program, as my narrator seems pretty firm in leaving too. Further I can distance myself from mask lady, the better.
First impressions really seem to matter, the masked counselor is quite nice in action, but just her fashion just really makes my brain send me warning signals and wants me to put distance between me and her. I remember reading something about how you look more intimidating when the person you’re talking to can’t see your eyes, and that’s the reason drill sergeants wear dark sunglasses. Haven’t been to military yet, so can’t really verify. Anyway, the mask not only covers the counselor’s entire expressions, it echoes her voice and darkens her eye part so I can’t tell what she’s thinking, and I have to strain a bit to hear what she’s saying, which gets emotion taken out of it via echo. Extremely scary, reminds me of the Terran adjutant in Starcraft.
Halfine tells us that she’s wanted to be a pilot as long as she can remember, which basically means she’s trying to drop out from her dream school where she’s doing pretty well in her subject. In college (although I didn’t really go to anybody’s dream school), I did see quite a few international students struggle extremely hard with the language barrier, culture, and making new friends, prompting them to take semester-long breaks due to the homesickness regardless of their grades. Earlier voicemail(?) from mom indicates that my narrator has some bigger problems though. Maybe she’s getting bullied here?
Now there is no mistaking it, even with my old eyes I can clearly tell that the bucket is being filled up. Quite a bit, actually, maybe the evaluation is just taking a longer time than I’m realizing/the movie is letting on.
So even after watching Ringloom a few times, I’m not quite sure what the ‘Ringloom’ symbolizes. I can’t find the meaning for the word, it’s literally the title of the film though, which means its pretty important, probably almost as important as my man bucket. Anyway, Halfine got it with her bestie at 18, before she left to be a pilot. there’s a circle for each year they were friends. I guess they won’t be adding on to this circle anytime to this pandora bracelet tattoo thing though, since it seems to be quite a completed ring already. I’m feeling a little less scared about masked lady now, and a little more inclined to sit and listen to Halfine tell her story because I can see masked lady’s eyes, and they don’t seem to be scary eyes — phew. Anyway, Halfine has a weird recurring dream, not like a lucid dream.
So I know this is like 100% Halfine’s dream, but the hands creep me out so hard. Cool closet though. The hands kinda beckon Halfine to the room it’s in, and Halfine is so transfixed by these that she gets up and starts moving towards the door, about to open it…
but wait, now she’s back on the bed, and now she’s looking at another side of the room with a girl. I don’t think its some ‘younger Halfine’ since she has darker hair. Maybe its her twin sister or something, named ‘Otherhalf-ine’, and they’re playing hide and go seek! I have to think these deranged thoughts, or else I’ll probably pee my pants. I’m sorry Distorting Mirror.
Halfine seems to have some trouble narrating her dream, keep picking the story back up from wherever she wants to, now she’s talking about a garden she used to use as a secret hideout with her friend, but she’s walking out to her backyard patio thingy, which does NOT feel at all like a secret hideout. Not sure if I just had too high of an expectation of a secret hideout, or if I’m just getting more information than the counselor. Because while the counselor is getting some reminiscing about Halfine and her friend, we’re getting a phone call.
I don’t know if anybody played ‘Colour my Dreams’ by SilverStitch, old Newgrounds game? Colour My Dreams (newgrounds.com)
Anyway, ever since that game, random phone lying in middle of nowhere = terrifying as fuck. So combined with the suspenseful ambient music of Ringloom, I’m already dreading this phone call before Halfine even picks it up. We’re getting some jumbled mess of audio which seems to be some foreign language, but even so, I can perfectly understand, and that’s why I can understand quicker than Halfine — her friend Alexandria has committed suicide. Since they got the whole Ringloom tattoo together, this must have happened just before Halfine was about to leave for the pilot program, or sometime during the first year.
Now, I understand why Halfine’s mother(?) was so sympathetic in the voice mail, and how she was so understanding despite ‘keeping a high standard’ for her daughter. If her friend of 10 years passed away, it would be hard to tell her to forget about her and move on. I understand completely why Halfine is haunted by her friend even a year after the death. I can say with certainty that she would also feel heavy, heavy guilt that would probably need more than a few years to recover from. It is a dark pit that doesn’t quite go away. While it may get a little shallower and lighter with each passing day, it’s still there and you still trip over it every once in a while.
Halfine understandably wants to take a break from the session after revisiting her dark memories.
But somehow, despite clearly walking away from the room, we loop back to the counselor, who seems to be expecting us, and not at all empathetic towards the distress we just expressed. What kind of counselor are you? And why can’t I leave this place?
Water is still dripping in the bucket, only not overflowing due to the surface tension, barely keeping it together (probably like Halfine’s mental state right now).
The counselor is basically forcing through Halfine’s mental defense and indicates that her purpose here all along was to make Halfine describe how she’s dealing with her friend’s death. I don’t think that’s how counseling sessions are supposed to go, but considering the strange loop-around earlier and how the counselor already knows how the dream ends, I’m pretty sure this is Halfine’s dream/vision anyway, so who cares, right? Definitely-not-licensed-counselor hijacks Halfine’s dream story now and continues.
‘The figure’ tells Halfine she has two paths to walk — one leads to emptiness, to never find one’s dream. But the other trades her dearest for her dream.
I don’t really know or care about what the figure is, but Halfine talked this through with her friend, who told her she should chase her dreams or she’d never forgive her. Halfine goes to the pilot school, but her friend is lost forever.
I’m not quite sure what ‘the figure’ is here, or how he has the power to give such an ultimatum (and follow through with it). However, judging by how the other path lead to ‘emptiness’, either way, I don’t think Halfine’s friend would have made it past this year. I’m taking shots in the dark, but perhaps Halfine’s friend had an incurable disease and Halfine was debating whether she should stay with her friend or go to pilot training, and her friend convinced her to go to pilot school and committed suicide after she got accepted/went to pilot school. Halfine blames herself for not being there for her friend and imagines the ultimatum retrospectively. But judging by how the former path was ‘emptiness’, she subconsciously shows how much she defines herself in her attempt at becoming a pilot, her dream.
The counselor explains Halfine’s fear and anger grew and grew until it consumed her and everything around her. Counselor takes the mask off in front of the Ringloom, revealing her to be Alexandria, Halfine’s dead friend, and confirming that this is also Halfine’s dream/vision.
Despite explaining herself that her dearest (does this mean Alex and Halfine were more than best friends?) literally wanted and convinced Halfine to follow her dreams, Alexandria in Halfine’s mind is salty that Halfine left her and calls her selfish. Halfine is dragged down to some dark, ethereal area where arms come out of the ringloom circles and Alexandria confronts her once more.
However, Alexandria isn’t there to mentally break down Halfine (anymore). As Halfine hugs her friend, Alexandria begs Halfine to please, let her go, as Halfine begs for forgiveness.
When our mistake hurts someone, a hard thing to keep in mind is to not forgive ourselves first. Because when we go ahead and forgive ourselves, it becomes hard to emphasize with what the other person felt, and it feels so good, so easy, to just minimize the problem, to downplay what the other person felt. When we go to the other person and ask for their forgiveness and find closure, then we can begin to heal ourselves and forgive. However, what happens if the other person chooses not to forgive us? What if the other person dies without letting us know whether they have forgiven us? Do we live with the guilt forever? Are we letting the guilt consume us? I don’t think its something I should have a definite answer to, and there would be many different facets and differences for everyone to have an answer for. But I needed to split myself off from Halfine here, as regardless of what I’m thinking in my situation, Halfine seems to have mustered up the courage to proceed through the guilt and out the other side. Halfine, in this movie, has forgiven herself for following her dreams after her friend passed away.
Halfine wakes up in an empty counseling room with the recorder on, and goes to inspect the bucket once more. The bucket, which was so close to overflowing in the dream, now is back to the initial water level.
The actual counselor comes in, and his warm tone as he asks us if we are all right lets us let out a sigh of relief as we have convinced ourselves that this is genuinely real life. Halfine takes back her resignation of the program, the counselor takes it in stride, and life goes on. We end with a final cut of the bucket, which now contains a flower in the water.
While I’m not confident this is what the directors were going for, Ringloom personally left me with a lot of thoughts of what I’ve left behind as I went to college in America (and now working). My family and cousins, including my mom and dad, are all in Korea. Especially with COVID, it is harder to travel between countries, and I’m not sure how I’d process the PTOs and going over to Korea if one of my relatives and family members passed away. Living in America meant I missed many major events in the family, such as my cousin’s wedding, her giving birth to both her children, my dad’s retirement, etc., and prioritized my academic and professional career over their life. What about their death? Ringloom also made me reflect back on other significant events in my life related to death, those which always feel too recent. Those are personal thoughts so I’m going to stop right here.
Thank you Justin, Hudson, and others in the staff and credit who worked together to make this film. I like Korean fried chicken. 10/10.
